


My Sunsine

by Kenmaisleng



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenmaisleng/pseuds/Kenmaisleng
Summary: Kageyama had realised his feeling for Hinata and decided it was time to confess. Hinata has felt sick for a while. It's probably nothing...right?(Also on Wattpad)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. Where It All Began

"Kageyama left!" A small ginger haired person came into view. Hinata Shoyo. He was waving his hand frantically, you could practically hear him screaming "PASS THE BALL!" How could you ignore someone like that?

Kageyama, the taller dark haired male smirked, then set the ball towards him. Seeing the glimmer in Hinata's eyes filled him with an emotion he couldn't describe.  
What was it?

At first, Kageyama and Hinata didn't get along very well. Heck, they fought all day. After a while, they grew onto each other they became somewhat friends. After a while Kageyama realised he acted differently around Hinata than he did other people. He didn't understand, what was this feeling?  
"BAKAYAMA DID YOU SEE THAT?!" His train of thoughts was interrupted by loud shouting.  
"DON'T CALL ME THAT DUMBASS!" Kageyama began to scowl, although he secretly liked the look on Hinata's face. "And yes, I did see your spike. It was...good." He murmured, his face going red with embarrassment.

"It's not every day you get to see the King compliment someone, you guys give off a lot of energy and none of it is hetero." Salty- I mean Tsukishima walked past the dynamic duo, as usual adding unnecessary but true information.  
"Shut up Salty-bony-shima. No one asked you." Hinata stepped in to defend his setter.  
"See, this just proves my point."  
Kageyama scowled. "YOU SHI-"  
Coach Ukai and Takeda entered the gym. 

"Alright everyone gather around!" Coach Ukai clapped his hands while Takeda trailed behind him. The club members all secretly wondered why they were so close, but no one questioned it.  
"As you all should know, this is our last training session before Christmas break. Me and Ittetsu have decided-"

"HE CALLED HIM BY HIS FIRST NAME!" Noya and Tanka yelled in union.  
Nishinoya began to jump about. "HAH! I told you something was going on between them. Suga pay up!"  
Takeda avoided Coach Ukai's eyes. "Wait, you guys made bets on whether we were together?!"

"Nishinoya Yuu and Tanaka Ryu." At the sound of their full names coming out of Daichi's mouth, the two of them shivered.  
"5 flying laps. Now."  
"But what about Suga-" Nishinoya began to protest.  
"Make that 10."  
Tsukishima snickered behind them. "Hah, idiots."  
Daichi smiled. "Tsukishima would you to go join them?" That shut him up for a while.

Takeda cleared his throat. "A-anyway since it's the last time you'll be here until New year, we were thinking of treating you all to something. --------------"

A few hours later

"Wow Bakayama! That meat tasted great!" Hinata beamed with joy and warmth.  
"Yeah it did..." Something was bugging Kageyama. Why was it that every time he looked at Hinata his mind became fuzzy and he couldn't think straight.  
"Maybe I'm sick." he thought. "I should ask Suga for advice."


	2. Confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama asked Suga if he knew anything about how he felt around Hinata. The setter then discovered he liked him and asked him out.  
> Meanwhile, Hinata's sickness was getting worse. Daichi suspects it may be worse than what he thinks.

Kageyama awkwardly approached Suga, wanting to see if he knew anything about how he felt around Hinata.  
"Uh, Suga-san?"  
Sugawara turned around to a confused looking Kageyama. "What is it?"  
Kageyama shifted his feet, embarrassed. "What does it mean when you are around specific someone, your face feels warm and you enjoy seeing them? Am I sick?"  
Sugawara looked surprised but then laughed. "You aren't sick Kageyama, you probably like them."  
Kageyama's face became a dark shade of red after hearing this. Him? In love with Hinata? "Never." He thought.  
"It's Hinata isn't it?"  
The dark-haired boy choked upon hearing those words. "H-how did you know?"  
Suga laughed again at how oblivious Kageyama was to his own emotions. "It's really obvious you know."  
The tall, blushing first year felt strange knowing that everyone except him knew how he felt. "Wait...DO YOU THINK HINATA KNOWS?!" The thought popped onto his head and he began to worry.  
Once again, Sugawara blessed the earth with his laughter. "Hinata is probably as oblivious as you are, I can tell."  
Kageyama let out a sigh of relief. "So what should I do now?"  
His upperclassman smiled. "Confess."

"Confess." Sounds easy enough. But Kageyama was shaking when he heard those words. "C-confess?! But what if-"  
Suga silenced him. "Shhh. If you think about rejection you will never be able to do it. It doesn't have to be fancy and I'm not pressuring you to do it. HOWEVER seeing the two of you look longingly at each other and not saying anything is annoying."  
Kageyama looked up, surprised. "You think Hinata likes me back?!"  
"Duh, it's obvious."  
Kageyama's face went uncontrollably red and he began to stammer. "I-uh, well-"  
"BAKAYAMA WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING?!" A small tangerine like figure appeared.  
"Uh-hey, what are you-"  
"Stop jibbering with Suga and come set for me!"  
"What the hell is a jibber-"

Two hours later, the duo were still playing volleyball. Neither of them had grown tired.  
"One more!"  
"Dumbass do you NEVER get tired?"  
"Not really no."  
Kageyama rolled his eyes, then turned to see Hinata coughing. The setter realised that he was off his game today.  
"Hey Hinata, are you alright?"

The small middle blocker dodged the question. "Did you actually just call me by my name?!"  
"Shut up dumbass." Kageyama scolded himself for turning asking of his wellbeing to trash-talk. He then remembered what Suga had told him. "Confess." "I'll try." He thought.

"What are you doing for Christmas this year?" Kageyama's cheeks flushed when he realised what he was doing.  
Hinata looked surprised and missed the spike. "Nothing really, it's just me, Natsu and my mum. Why do you ask?"  
Kageyama awkwardly shifted, not knowing how to respond. "Well, I was wondering if we could-"  
"HEY LOVEBIRDS THE GYM'S CLOSING! Get your butts out here!" Tanaka appeared in the door, making them jump.  
"We're coming!" Hinata started packing his things.  
Kageyama cursed underneath his breath. He was just about to take Suga's advice! But it wasn't too late. "Uh, Hinata?"  
The tangerine turned around and the dark haired boy's throat became dry. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. "I can't do it." were the only words on his mind. "Never mind. Let's go." 

It was 2am and Kageyama was cursing the earth while setting.

"STUPID STUPID STUPID!" He internally screamed. He didn't know who it was directed towards, Tanaka, Sugawara, himself or even Hinata. He just needed to vent to the world.  
"I had the opportunity right in front of me! I hate everything!" He threw the ball to the wall and screamed towards his pillow. "Why can't life be simple, eat, drink milk and play volleyball? Screw life, screw that stupid tangerine! Sugawara was wrong! I think at least." He scowled and cursed again.  
"Hinata...what are you to me..?" he murmured before finally falling asleep.


	3. Fear and Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama decided to call Hinata even though it was 3am. He used the opportunity to ask him out. Hinata agreed, even though his sickness was worsening. He decided to ask the coach for advice. Ukai is afraid that Hinata's sickness may be worse than he thought it was.

Hinata woke up and looked at his clock. 3:10am.  
"Shit." He thought.  
Hinata had been having a sleep problem for a while, waking up at strange hours, getting horrifying nightmares. He had throbbing headaches, felt nauseous and acted different at times.  
"It's nothing." He told himself. "I'll be fine." He considered telling his mother, but she would insist on taking him to the hospital and they were tight on money. He didn't want her to worry about him.  
"I'll get a job." He thought out loud. "Then she won't have to worry about me anymore."  
He coughed and blood stained his hand. Hinata shivered slightly. "Everything will be fine, I'll take care of it." He coughed aggressively and his throat began to ache. "Just leave everthing to me." 

Kageyama was pondering on what Sugawara had said.  
"Confess."  
"Confess, huh?" He rolled over, annoyed he couldn't go back to sleep. He got out of bed to get a milk, then aggressively drank it.  
"I wonder what Hinata is doing right now..." Kags hit himself. "URGH! I shouldn't be thinking about that over-grown tangerine!" He then eyed his phone. "Maybe he's awake right now, I should-" The dark-haired setter dismissed the thought. "I should go back to sleep."  
Many failed attempts of sleep later, Kageyama was back to eyeing his phone.  
"Screw it." He grabbed the phone off the desk and went to favourite contacts.  
Tangerine 🍊  
Kageyama: Oi dumbass, you up?  
Tangerine 🍊: yeah, what about you?  
Kageyama rolled his eyes.  
Kageyama: If I was asleep how tf would I be texting you? Use that sense for something other than volleyball.  
Hinata: Why are you always so mean to me :(  
Kags smiled and continued typing. "What am I doing..."  
Kageyama: Do you wanna call?  
Hinata paused, debating on whether Kags would notice something was wrong with him.  
Hinata: Sure!

"Hey Bakayama! What's up?"  
Kageyama's face grew red and he wasn't even seeing Hinata's face. The tangerine's voice was strangely calming.  
"D-don't call me that dumbass." He muttered. "And I'm fine I guess, what about you?"  
There was a long pause on the other side of the line. "I- I'm great!"  
Kageyama felt off. It was the same as when they practiced. Something was wrong.  
"Hinata, you know you can trust me right? If anything's wrong just know you can talk to me."  
The small ginger was surprised to hear that from him. Hinata didn't think that it was that obvious.  
"I'm fine!"  
The setter was doubtful, but he didn't indulge further.  
"Confess." Kageyama suddenly remembered the words that Suga had said and decided it was time to take action.  
"H-hinata, do you wanna go out with me on Christmas Eve?"

Hinata's face went red as he remembered what had happened in the past hour  
"What's wrong with me? It's just something a friend would ask...right?" The tangerine then turned around and screamed into his pillow. "AND I SAID YES TOO!" He pulled his hair in frustration.  
"Wait...DO I LIKE KAGEYAMA?!" he shouted out loud. A neighbour shouted back. "SHUT THE HELL UP IT'S 4AM!" Hinata blushed in embarrassment and hushed his tone.  
"Maybe I should call Coach Ukai. He would know."

"HINATA SHOYOU IT'S 4AM!" Hinata winced as he was scolded from the other side of the line. "S-sorry I just needed to ask you something."  
Ukai sighed. "This better be good..."

A few minutes later  
"Oh shit..." Ukai wasn't really surprised but he still was shaken.  
Hinata on the other side was breaking down, his voice croaking. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I don't understand anything at all!"  
The coach was surprised to hear Hinata like that; it was rare for him to break down. "It's okay Hinata, just calm down."  
Hinata was already at his breaking point and crying. The coach stayed quiet and let him vent for a while. Ukai then realised that the middle blocker was acting strange. "Hinata, are you okay?"  
Hinata sighed. "I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore. I've felt weird for a while, painful headaches, drowsiness and vomiting. I also acted differently. I-i don't know what's going on."  
Coach Ukai's chest pounded. "Wait...those sound like symptoms of- oh shit, Hinata I'll call you back." Beep.

Hinata collapsed back into his bed. "Well that didn't help at all..."  
He squeezed his Tiny Giant plushie. "I guess I do like Kageyama, huh? Wow..." The ginger looked down at his phone to see a call from the coach. 

"Hinata, come outside. There's something we need to talk about."

Kageyama's POV  
I had stared at the wall for a good ten minutes, thinking about what I had just done. I can't believe I did that! And he said yes too! What was I thinking? This can only end badly. Wait...WHAT IF I TELL HIM AND HE REJECTS ME?! I'll never be able to set for him again. 

While calling Hinata I noticed his voice was strange, he sounded drained. Anyone awake at 3am would be drained but this was different. Is he sick?! I didn't think about his feelings and well being and asked the dumbass out while sick! At this point I'm almost as heartless as Saltyshima, but if anyone asks, I didn't say that. Sigh. I wonder how things will turn out I guess.


	4. Where It All Starts to Go Wrong

"Hinata, I need to talk to you about something."   
Hinata was reminiscing all that had happened in the past day. He looked at the calendar. 23rd December. All that the coach had said was coming back to him.

Yesterday  
"What is it Coach?" Hinata was confused as to why he was so shaken about his symptoms.   
"Hinata, the symptoms you have may be the cause of something serious. Have you gone to a hospital?"  
Hinata sighed. "It's fine Coach! I'm glad you're so concerned about my health but it's probably nothing."  
Ukai's eye twitched in anger as the words "this dumb bi-" crossed his mind. "Get in the truck."  
Hinata blinked a few times before he registered what had been said to him. "Did I hear that right?"  
"Yes now get in the truck."  
Before the tangerine realised, he was in the front seat of Coach Ukai's truck in a baby seat. "Is this really...necessary?!" Hinata trusted the coach wouldn't hurt him but he was still embarrassed to be 16 and in a baby seat. 

About half an hour later, they were parked in front of a hospital. They then walked towards the reception. Hinata wondered why the coach insisted on a doctor so much.  
"Hinata Shoyou?" His name was called and he made his way forward. 

Ten minutes later  
Hinata was out, all the colour drained from his face. He looked...empty. No fight was left in him. After hearing what he had, Hinata was surprised he could still stand. Back in the truck, silence had made it's way in. The air was heavy; neither of them spoke. Coach Ukai could tell it was a bad time to ask what happened, but he had a rough idea. He decided to speak up. "So...what was it?"  
Hinata looked down, refusing to face forward. "I get a letter stating what it is tomorrow. With what they said, it can't be good." He sighed and fidgeted with his fingers. 

Hinata got home to the frantic questions of his worrying mother. "Where were you?! I was so worried!" Tears streamed down her face. Hinata couldn't bring himself to tell her where he had been.   
"I, uh was out with Kageyama!"   
His mother sighed in relief. "Next time, please let me know. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."   
He smiled, happy to see his mother. "I promise not to leave you, not before I make you proud as the future ace of Japan!"   
His mum laughed. It was a sweet sound, it made Hinata forget what had happened just an hour ago. "I'm sure you'll make me proud, then you can take care of Natsu and I!" 

"Yeah...I can."

Next Day

Hinata's POV  
I'm getting ready to go out with Kageyama. I'm so excited! Wait..but what if he only sees me as a friend?! What if he doesn't like me and it was a prank? Oh no...this was a bad idea! I don't even know what to wear! I should just call off the whole thing and pretend it never happened. No Shoyo, you mustn't! You never know. If he actually does like me, I'll be surprised.   
Anyway, I can't just forget what happened yesterday. With what the doctor told me, I'm worried. If anything happens to me I won't be able to take care of my mum or Natsu. My test results come today, I have to be here to make sure no one else finds them. Oh, the door. It must be it. I just hope everything will be alright...

Third Person  
Hinata rushed to the door, anticipation and anxiety overtaking him. He was worried about the results. His hands shook as he received the letter. He considered not opening it, letting the results stay hidden forever. "No." He thought. "I have to know." The small middle blocker trailed back to his room, unable to relax. His hands made their way across the letter, as if trying to reassure him. "I have to." He said aloud. "I have to..." After staring at the letter for a while, he started to open it. The information inside could change his life forever. He closed his eyes and brought the letter closer to him.   
"It's now or never."

Kageyama was nervously pacing up and down his room. It was 24th of December and he was going out with Hinata Shoyo. Hinata! Who would've known? He bit his nail and started to recall the last time he had spoken to the small ginger. For since before Christmas break, Hinata had been acting strange. Was he sick? No, it was more than that. Kageyama felt guilty. He knew all of these things and asked Hinata out anyway. "What type if person am I? I should just call and cancel." His phone buzzed as he said this and he saw a text from Hinata. He snatched up his phone and shook as he opened the notification. 

Tangerine: Hey Kags! I'm excited for today. You better not bail on me lol.  
Kageyama smiled and sighed. "Yeah...I can't chicken out now. I'll just ask him if there's anything going on myself. 

About an hour later, Hinata was at the park. His clothes had obviously had a lot of effort put in. He looked around for the dark haired setter and picked up his phone to text him. That was when he saw it.

Kageyama's lips pressed against a girl's.


	5. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The doctor's letter is probably wrong, I haven't actually seen one like this so I made it up 😅. After this chapter, I'll write a chapter from Kageyama's view, then that will be it. Enjoy! I'm not used to Ao3 so some things may seem off. The Wattpad version is probably better.

Hinata sight started to blur, his mind began to fuzz. "Away, I need to get away." He started to move, not seeing straight. A voice in the distance called. It sounded so close, yet so far away. "Hinata!" It called. "Shoyo please!" It pleaded. Hinata wondered who it belonged to. "Where have I heard it from? They must be someone I know, huh." His sight dimmed and his legs began to gave out. The ground seemed to give way as he fell into oblivion. "Am I falling?" He wondered. "I can't see anything. I wanna know whose voice that is. It sounds like they really wanna talk to me. Oh right, I need to get away. I should've known Kageyama didn't like me like that." He heard his name in a distance one last time before his mind finally went blank. 

"Let me in!" Kageyama furiously attempted to push aside the doctors and nurses who were blocking his way. "I need to see him!" He almost cried at them. "Please..."  
The workers were adamant and didn't budge. They were like a wall, a hard surface blocking freedom, blocking Kageyama from the sunshine.  
"How did I not know...what kind of mother am I?!" He turned around to see a woman with dark, short hair, crying. Beside her was a smaller, female version Shoyou, she looked drained and empty.  
"Hey..." she whispered. Kageyama realised that it was Shoyou's sister. "Is big brother gonna be alright..?" Her hands shook as tears streamed down her face. Kageyama's feet started to move. He found himself kneeling before Natsu before he knew it. "What am I doing? I have no right to do this after what I made him go through, but I still want to." He looked up at the little girl and smiled. "I'm a friend of your brother you know. Well, he probably doesn't think highly of me now. He's been the sunshine of my life, and probably many others too. He's really strong and will it through this." Kageyama bought his pinky finger to her hand. "I promise. If I'm lying I have to swallow a thousand needles!"  
Natsu smiled and hope glimmered in her eyes. "Promise?"  
Kageyama paused and began to doubt himself. He quickly shook off the thought. "I promise, Shoyo will survive."  
Hinata's mother sniffed and smiled at Kageyama. "Thank you, Tobio." 

After hearing that, he looked up and finally broke down. All the pain that he held in reading the doctor's letter Hinata received. All the anger, the guilt after having Hinata see that.

"To Hinata Shoyou  
RE: Disease  
We regret to inform you that you have been confirmed to have a brain tumor. This is a small shape figure in your head that may continue to grow if not removed. In worst case, you may pass away.  
However, not all hope is lost. To remove this, we have a fee of £495,000 (¥70,189,515/ $676058.63). This is a cheap price compared to most hospitals in the area. We recommend getting it removed as soon as possible. You can pay------------"

Remembering how Shoyo had to carry this and refusing to tell anyone made Kageyama angry. How could his small body handle all that baggage? In front of everyone at the hospital, Kageyama buried his face in his hands and cried.

Beep. Beep. Beep. The rhythmic sound continued, the same pace and sound repeating over and over again. Beep. Beep. Beep. Hinata was surrounded in darkness. He couldn't see anything. "Where am I? I can't move." He wondered. The last thing he remembered was Kageyama...and the girl. "Well, I should've known something like that would happen. I shouldn't have got my hopes up." Beep. Beep. Beep. The slow, steady sound continued in the background, showing life. What Hinata saw was neither black nor light. Just nothing. "He looked really nice. He even wore a nice suit! Hehe. He can even set really well too, I'm glad I got to hit some of them. I hope he's alright. Everyone must be really worried about me, they shouldn't worry. I'll escape this darkness and become Japan's ace!" Kageyama reappeared in his mind and he suddenly felt angry. "Why did some random girl have to suddenly appear?!" Hinata then felt bad for addressing her like that. "She probably didn't know. I shouldn't get mad at her just for liking someone. Kageyama probably didn't know I liked him either." The rhythmic noise continued, it's pace gradually slowing. Hinata then realised what was happening. "I hope everyone is alright." He smiled to himself. "At least I knew Bakayama finally found something else to make him happy...I love you Tobio." Beeeeeep. The rhythm stopped and the music came to an end.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the story, after this I'll write something from Kageyama's view. This was my first finished fanfic so please give me feedback. Some parts of this are probably inaccurate, especially the Doctor's letter😅.   
> The Wattpad version is in better quality and probably edited. Anyways, enjoy!

Hinata sight started to blur, his mind began to fuzz. "Away, I need to get away." He started to move, not seeing straight. A voice in the distance called. It sounded so close, yet so far away. "Hinata!" It called. "Shoyo please!" It pleaded. Hinata wondered who it belonged to. "Where have I heard it from? They must be someone I know, huh." His sight dimmed and his legs began to gave out. The ground seemed to give way as he fell into oblivion. "Am I falling?" He wondered. "I can't see anything. I wanna know whose voice that is. It sounds like they really wanna talk to me. Oh right, I need to get away. I should've known Kageyama didn't like me like that." He heard his name in a distance one last time before his mind finally went blank. 

"Let me in!" Kageyama furiously attempted to push aside the doctors and nurses who were blocking his way. "I need to see him!" He almost cried at them. "Please..."   
The workers were adamant and didn't budge. They were like a wall, a hard surface blocking freedom, blocking Kageyama from the sunshine.   
"How did I not know...what kind of mother am I?!" He turned around to see a woman with dark, short hair, crying. Beside her was a smaller, female version Shoyou, she looked drained and empty.   
"Hey..." she whispered. Kageyama realised that it was Shoyou's sister. "Is big brother gonna be alright..?" Her hands shook as tears streamed down her face. Kageyama's feet started to move. He found himself kneeling before Natsu before he knew it. "What am I doing? I have no right to do this after what I made him go through, but I still want to." He looked up at the little girl and smiled. "I'm a friend of your brother you know. Well, he probably doesn't think highly of me now. He's been the sunshine of my life, and probably many others too. He's really strong and will it through this." Kageyama bought his pinky finger to her hand. "I promise. If I'm lying I have to swallow a thousand needles!"   
Natsu smiled and hope glimmered in her eyes. "Promise?"   
Kageyama paused and began to doubt himself. He quickly shook off the thought. "I promise, Shoyo will survive."   
Hinata's mother sniffed and smiled at Kageyama. "Thank you, Tobio." 

After hearing that, he looked up and finally broke down. All the pain that he held in reading the doctor's letter Hinata received. All the anger, the guilt after having Hinata see that.

To Hinata Shoyou   
RE: Disease  
We regret to inform you that you have been confirmed to have a brain tumor. This is a small shape figure in your head that may continue to grow if not removed. In worst case, you may pass away.   
However, not all hope is lost. To remove this, we have a fee of £495,000 (¥70,189,515/ $676058.63). This is a cheap price compared to most hospitals in the area. We recommend getting it removed as soon as possible. You can pay------------

Remembering how Shoyo had to carry this and refusing to tell anyone made Kageyama angry. How could his small body handle all that baggage? In front of everyone at the hospital, Kageyama buried his face in his hands and cried.

Beep. Beep. Beep. The rhythmic sound continued, the same pace and sound repeating over and over again. Beep. Beep. Beep. Hinata was surrounded in darkness. He couldn't see anything. "Where am I? I can't move." He wondered. The last thing he remembered was Kageyama...and the girl. "Well, I should've known something like that would happen. I shouldn't have got my hopes up." Beep. Beep. Beep. The slow, steady sound continued in the background, showing life. What Hinata saw was neither black nor light. Just nothing. "He looked really nice. He even wore a nice suit! Hehe. He can even set really well too, I'm glad I got to hit some of them. I hope he's alright. Everyone must be really worried about me, they shouldn't worry. I'll escape this darkness and become Japan's ace!" Kageyama reappeared in his mind and he suddenly felt angry. "Why did some random girl have to suddenly appear?!" Hinata then felt bad for addressing her like that. "She probably didn't know. I shouldn't get mad at her just for liking someone. Kageyama probably didn't know I liked him either." The rhythmic noise continued, it's pace gradually slowing. Hinata then realised what was happening. "I hope everyone is alright." He smiled to himself. "At least I knew Bakayama finally found something else to make him happy...I love you Tobio." Beeeeeep. The rhythm stopped and the music came to an end.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have just realised how much I hate this story. It was too rushed and you didn't really get much depth about the characters.🙃 I will most likely remake it in the future so wait for that!

I know you'll never read this letter, because you aren't here anymore. Even if my eyes dry from tears and my head pounds from lack of sleep, nothing will change. You'll never come back.

So there really is no point of me writing this, but I don't care. There are many things that I regret not saying, memories I regret not sharing. Even if you will never be able to see this, I feel like it is a good idea. Let me explain what happened over the past few days.

After we received the news, all hell broke loose. Natsu lost her voice after shouting at me for breaking our promise. It hurt, not her shouting but knowing that you weren't able to pull through. Your mother collapsed and I stayed with her, even though I had no right to. She probably hates me, and Natsu probably does too. I was the one that killed you. Without me, you might have lived. You would've had the opportunity to continue spiking, blocking and becoming Japan's ace. I ruined all of that for you. I ruined it for everyone.

Anyway, after your mother was discharged, she asked me to come over. I wondered why, I hadn't done anything useful for her or anyone. Natsu had went to your grandparents' house for a while to clear her mind. We arrived and she was really nice. "Thank you for always taking care of Shoyo." Your mum must not have known how I hurt you. 

We spoke for a while. Trivial things. School, food and volleyball. A few minutes into it, she suddenly got up and asked me to follow her. We stood in front of a black door with stickers around it. I immediately knew it was yours. My hands shook and I trembled. I think your mother sensed my discomfort and she smiled. She beckoned me to open the door and I pushed it forward. The room was alien to me even though it looked pretty normal. Volleyball shoes, Tiny Giant posters and procrastinated homework. Then it caught my eye. 

A small black box. 

It was nothing out of the ordinary, just a small black box that could've been anywhere. I don't know why it caught my eye, instinct maybe? I don't know. 

"He wanted to give it to you, Shoyo I mean." Your mother picked it up and handed it to me. "He even put a reminder for it on the calendar but he still forgot!" She laughed, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. She shook her head as to rid of those emotions. "Open it."   
I was hesitant at first, and I'll actually admit I was kinda scared. But if anyone asks you heard nothing dumbass. 

Inside was a clumsily folded note. I opened and read it. You probably know what it says.

"To Bakayama  
Ok so, uh yeah. By the time you've read this you would've known about my sickness. Good news is that it isn't lethal! But still, the likeliness of me getting enough money to buy 2 middle-sized houses before it kills me is low. Anyway, before the inevitable happens I want us to enjoy life to the fullest. Given the fact I was sick before hand I probably have a few days. Anyway, just look at what I got you. I made it myself so you better not complain!"

At the bottom of the box, something glimmered. I picked it up to find a little volleyball keychain. It was rough around the edges but I'll give you an A for effort. I don't know why but seeing that made my eyes blur. I was surprised since I thought they had dried out.   
Your mother pat my back after seeing my face. "I'll let you be alone in here for now." She walked out and the door clicked. 

I was now alone in your room...I just realised how weird that sounds. Anyway I soaked in my surroundings, trying to get used to the warm, small room. I looked around for a bit, though it felt weird being in there without you knowing. I slid my hand across the desk, hoping to find something to soothe me. Anything. It didn't work. 

I was given a week off of school for mental health. Only the principal and the coaches knew what had happened, everyone else was under the impression you were sick.  
I hated lying to them, it felt like I was betraying their trust in me. The team probably sensed something was wrong when I came back. Coach and I decided it was time to tell them. 

After practice, Takeda Sensei called everyone in. They seemed to already know what was about to be said. Tension had found it's way into the gym and even the wind seemed to quiet down. 

"Everyone here knows that Hinata hasn't in school here for a while." Takeda seemed to search for the words to tell everyone and he always knows the right things to say.   
"...I don't know how to say this." His voice quietened. "Hinata is...",

I cut him off and finished his sentence. "He's dead." I paused, a lump forming in my throat. "Hinata is dead." Everyone turned towards me. I half expected them to think I was joking, but their eyes were serious. No one looked up and we just sat there for a while. Tsukishima broke the silence, his eyes still pointed to the ground and his hands squeezed around Yams'. I think we all knew they were more than friends. "How..." He started, his voice showing no emotion or sign of shaking. "How did he die..?" His hands started to tremble as he grabbed Yamaguchi tighter. 

Answering his question was hard, reliving those memories wasn't something I wanted to do. "He...had a brain tumor. No one knew until it was too late."   
It started with a sniffle, then crying could be heard everywhere. Tears of guilt, tears of sadness and tears of anger. Everyone had regrets. 

Because of the small influence you made, it got into the local newspaper. You even got some time on TV. It annoyed me, barely anyone knowing you even existed until you were gone. People used it as a way to get clout, saying things like #RIP. Someone even claimed to be your little brother! I hated it. Volleyball club closed for 3 days so that we could get recuperate. We didn't have any upcoming matches so you don't need to worry. I don't think anyone took the news well and I got a call from Suga. He asked me if I was okay, although his own voice was still shaky. When we got back to school, everyone's playing was hardcore, no one slacked and the spikes were powerful. Everyone understood. You never would have wanted us to sit moping about something that never could be changed. 

So now, I hope you're proud of yourself, you have left a lot of people alone and miserable. I know you probably didn't want to, but it's still annoying you idiot. You were literal sunshine, now we are all left in darkness unable to see. Thank you for being the light to our lives, to my life. I won't ever forget you. I still see you, you know. When I'm setting, when I'm eating, you're in everything I do. I miss you, Shoyo. You were- no, you still are my light.


End file.
